not so super...

This last few weeks have been challenging ones for me. Its funny because when I first stated writing this blog I knew this time would be coming. I felt an over whelming amount of stress as the collision of crazy events was inevitably before me. I thought to my self " this is a true test of my super mom theories, we shall see how I get through all this"

well....... I have not flown through this time with flying colors..at all. In fact, most of the time I feel like I am hanging off a cliff by just the tips of my fingers. moment by moment, the change in my pockets, my jewelry and my shoes are dropping the bottomless pit below. I just keep hanging on looking for help, wondering how its possible to fix my situation. Obviously this is not how a super mom would be acting in the heat of battle. I have realized though, that sometimes outside uncontrollable things happen. while I may know how to fix things that doesn't always mean I can. SO maybe I am just hanging on, but maybe for right now, that has to be enough.

you remember a saying " practice what you preach"? I would have to say I am most guilty of not always practicing what I preach. I know what I need to do, I know what the Lords has taught me to do but some times doing it is the hardest part.

so here I am conflicted, between "practicing what you preach" and "just hanging on". Because some times the strength you need to practice what you preach just isn't there. As I wrote this it occurred to me that maybe its not physically possible for me to be super woman at this time. However, if I because a super woman mentally and spiritually at least I would be moving in the right direction. I also realized the answer always lies with in the problem. So here I go again, I may be hanging on the cliff of a bottomless pit, but I am ready to take a deep breath- relax, call on the Only source which can give me strength beyond my own, asking for help to get off the edge. Time to have my feet planted on solid ground! even though my current chaos has no near end in sight, I am ready to let my pride go and let the Lord do the heavy lifting, because I just physically can't. I should have known it all along, but as a person who is stubborn, some times it takes me longer then it should to figure things out.