Sunday, December 20, 2009

unmentionable substance

since I already wrote on the other blog I will share this thought on this one! =)

Just now as I was making dinner Jackson called to me and told me he had an accident ( of the bathroom kind) and he needed some help cleaning up. He for-warned me that it was " a big messy one"...nice, I know. So as usual I marched back there determined to be compassionate and maybe in my trying to be nice, we would figure out how to fix this problem. But much to my suprise he had not over estimate the size of this mess, every surface was covered with what I will refer to as " the unmentionable substance" to make matters worse he had destroyed my favorite eyes shadow and a thin layer of gray power covered the unmentionable substance making a difficult mess to clean up.
I wanted to get mad, I thought about a good spanking. But after about one second ( literally) I realized none of this would help him or me, so I turned to fixing me first. I wondered about my morning, how it could go from so wonderful and spiritual to this, yucky mess. As I washed sinkful after sinkful and toilet bowl after toliet bowl of unmentionalble substance out of clothes and rags and off of floors, walls, flat irons, and make up. I decided I was going to take Elder Maxwells advice, which I had learned earlier ( see other blog from today!) I was going to turn this experience into a learning experience and grow closer to Christ.......but how............

then all at once, the Lord blessed me with understanding. I thought of the Savior. He not only touch those with sins but he touches the dirtiest sickest among us. Over and Over he helped those who could not help them selves, those who were outcast because of things they could or could not control.
Of course he did not stop there, he did not just live and heal, he lived and died, he lived and thaught us how we should live, and he died that we might be able to live and make mistakes and still be able to find out way back to him through repentance.
In that moment I understood that while cleaning unmentionable substance was gross and stinky and hard, it was teaching me how to love my son in a stronger deeper way. I was serving him, expecting nothing in return, for I was only doing something he could not have. I felt his embarrassment at the situation and I knew I had no choice but to help, because I loved him. The savior felt our emotions, he loved us, so he did what we can not. he lived a perfect life, he died that our imperfections can be compensated for. I love my savior with a deeper love after today. I am grateful he has a superior knowledge and never chastises or hurts in a moment of frustration. I guess Elder Maxwell was right, all experiences can lead us back home if we let them. even if all we are doing is cleaning unmentionable substance.