my Boys

Today was piano..I have three students on Wednesdays, they are all boys. I have started calling them "my boys". these boys are the cool cats on the elementary campus, every one knows them and every one likes them...but I have enjoyed getting to know them to find out that:

-one is a perfectionist and loves my kids like his own siblings, he also has a gift with music I think between the obsession to get everything 100 right and his natural music tendencies he could be a great piano player...hes learning the music maybe cool....just like all the sports he plays perfectly.My favorite line he ever said?? I was telling the boys that girls like a guy who can play the piano and that this could help them out in the future (LOL) he thinks on this for a while and says " I thought it was foot ball that got the girls!?"

-one is a talker, he likes to tell me what he got going on, exaggerate the truth ( just a tiny bit) and he shakes the whole time he plays..not because he doesn't get it, but because hes not sure if he really has it right. he always wants to go first, and show me things on you tube...=)

- one is so so shy, which you would never guess at first, but hes quite and sweet, he has an amazing ear, because hes so shy I sometimes forget about his amazing ear and play a small part of his assignment to help him feel more comfortable, but then when he can play it perfectly after, I realize my mistake...when will I learn not to play for those whole have a great ear?? hes the kind of boy that i think...."can you get baptized so that you can marry my daughter when you get older.???. =)"

they come into the house like a whirlwind, laugh at joey for two hours, shove at least one of the three out the back door to contend with angie, eat, laugh and do home work while they are here....and while the house is trashed when they leave, my week is just not the same with out "my boys" coming to visit...

so many things I wasn't aware of.

Last night I was up with a friend until 12;30 in the morning..it was late and I was tired...BUT I went to bed feeling grateful for so many things I didn't realize were blessings. My friend and I have shared a lot of similar hardships..the difference was the out come. while hers have been long and drawn out and she has been undermind and under supported, mine have changed my relationship with heavenly father, and my husband...Mike has stood by me and supported me in way I didn't even realize were amazing..but seeing some one else go through the same junk with out a amazing husband, wow my life could be so much harder right now. Where my chanellenges have grown me hers have hardened her, not because shes not a amazing person, but because when you are drowning and no one is hearing you, then you start fighting any way you can and it can get SO SO hard. anyway, I am grateful becuase she opened my eyes ( with out knowing it) to many times in my life where the Lord has taken over and changed everything, and I have been the direct benefit of it all..

slow days

Today I went to sacramento and back, talked on the phone a long time, cleaned half my house had friends over for dinner...but it was a relatively slow day, I am grateful for a day which is busy but normal busy not so Jam packed that my head is spinning and I have to run and yell everything I do...It was nice.

understanding

this sounds goofy, but I had a crazy week this last week which meant mike was with the kids A LOT! By the end of the week end he was exhausted and worn out and a bit frustrated, he said things like " you need to be home more then one morning a week, and what do we do about....?? and waht about??? How can we fix???" things like this. I think I could have thrown up my hands and yelled " WHAT DO YOU THINK I HAVE BEEN SAYING FOR MONTHS AND MONTHS???" but The Lord helped me out on this one and I realized I had been given a gift...that of Mike understanding. sometimes when we tell people things they just can't understand...unless the experience it.....so Mike got to understand and now together we can move forward...

day 1

yesterday was such and emotional day. Mike had his last day at work, and about half way through the day I realized I had been grouchy and crabby all day, but for a reason, I couldn't breath! those darn allergies are back and I was getting irritable with every one, not because I was actually mad but because I felt claustrophobic in my own body, and it put me on edge.

As the day wore on I felt my self near tears and praying to the Lord for a little help. We were having 10 people over for a couples date night. Mike and I were making ALL the food and it needed to not only be good but look nice. with less then two hours left, a house that was barley on the line of clean, no make up and hair done and a list a page long of things to cook (Litterally I had done NO cooking at all!!). i felt the panic set in.

that's when I heard a knock on the door. a good friend, whom I have not been able to see much lately, stopped my " just because she missed me" she quickly looked around and decided to be my sue chef! she stayed until all the guest arrived, cooked, did dishes and encouraged me to "go get ready" even though she wasn't staying for the event herself. I needed her in so many ways. she was more then just a helping hand. she was reassurance that the Lord is mindful of my every stress and worry. from friend ship statuses to dinner prep, my prayers were answered. I was so grateful for this manifestation of the Lords hand in my life.!

A new project

Since there is only one person who reads this blog in the entire universe, I think its a safe place to start my new project. I have been thinking a lot about that talk by Elder Eyring, you know the one about looking each day for the Lords hand in our lives, the one that goes a little farther then just couting your blessings. He asked us to LOOK for them, RECORD them.

So, this is the project, as often as I can, I am going to hop on here and record it, my blessings or the instances when I felt the Lords hand in my life, just quickly not a big deal. But ever since I heard that talk...which was now a while ago, I have felt drawn twards his words and felt the need to do as he asked. So here we go a new experiment!

been gone for a while..

Life has been so crazy I haven't blogged in ....a while. But So much has happened I know I need to post pictures and write it all out. I am expecting this week to be better. I have less going on, so hopefully I can catch up this week with everything!! but until then, I just wanted to mention on one of the bigger changes going on in the Heller home.

Yesterday was Mikes final day at Raymorgan. It was funny all the emotions that rolled through Mike and I as the day went on. Our years with this company have been up down and every where in between...but much more on the upside then anything else. We have personally gotten to know all the owners of the company and their wives. Mike put it best " Brigette, they actually knew us well enough to pronounce your name the right way!" LOL.

So Mike cleaned out his office, wrote any last minute e-mails, and its done. The saddness of the moment is short lived however, all because we are moving on to something that we feel will be much better for our family. In all our searching for the right fit for our family, we have moved, switched jobs several times and gone through one of the hardest years in our family with law school. Through it all, we just never quite had the peace that we were doing the right thing.

When Mike and I discussed this new job, we had a lot of questions, but got only one answer. For the first time in over 5 years, this change felt right and REALLY good. I don't know why we have not been able to get this feeling sooner, I have fretted over this so many times over the last few years, the "why?" but now it doesn't seem to matter because we have a real direction......

so we will call the last few years, learning years, Because we have learned A LOT. Changes are in store for the hellers ( again LOL) but this time, it all feels good, no fear because we know its right for our family. So wish us luck and off we go!